Examples, please, you ask? Ok, but remember you asked for them... (and I wouldn't recommend reading this over lunch)
Example 1: At dinner tonight, as I am about to put a piece of chicken in my mouth, he leans over, waves his fingers at me, and says, "Do my fingers smell like poop? Because I just wiped."
Needless to say, I did not smell them. But we had a second washing of the hands, just in case.
Example 2: While taking a shower tonight, he spent most of time singing about his bottom. "I'm washing my bum, shaking my bum, rinsing my bum," and so on. At least it's a clean bum.
Example 3: "Mom, want to see something cool that (boy in his class) taught me?" He proceeds to stick his finger in his nose, then in his ear, and then lick the finger.
Yum. And he's going to be THAT BOY. You know the one, the one who picked his nose and ate it and there's some girl who grows up to be like my mother, who, 55 years later, can still tell you his name.
Example 4: His fingernails. I do not understand how he gets them so dirty, even when he didn't play outside today. I try to keep them cut short, and STILL. The dirty fingernails. Oy.
Example 5: The constant touching of everything. Walls, windows, fragile store displays, his sister, my personal space. He honestly cannot help himself sometimes.
Example 6: The interjection of "stupid" into most popular songs and phrases. You know, "The Itsy Bitsy STUPID Spider" and "Row, Row, Row your STUPID Boat?"
Example 7: Potty talk. This crosses gender lines, but I just don't get why it's so funny to talk about going to the bathroom. Maybe I'll ask his father--the originator of most of the fart jokes in our house, and the man who proudly taught both kids to "Pull my finger!" Guess I just answered my own question on that one. Note the Y chromosome, though...
There are many, many more, but I'm just too tired for any more male mystery. I'm sure Bitty Girl will be even more challenging in many ways, but at least I'll understand the brain behind all that drama and eye-rolling. This Y chromosome has me stumped.
At least he's cute. Since I have such a pathetic lack of pictures lately, here's one of him enjoying the 30 minute rain squall during his last soccer game.