Since either my kids aren't funny enough or I forgot to write it down, the following is courtesy of my niece - 2 1/2 and sassy, smart, and best of all, off her oxygen for most of the daytime! Go Maggie!!
Overheard in her house...
"Give me that pencil - that Pennsylvania" (Get it? Pencil-vania?)
"This is my suitcase, my case, my quesadilla" (Case-adilla)
She also says thats-sterical ("that's hysterical").
She decorated the house for Halloween with her nanny and told Mommy not to be scared, "because it's just pretend, Mommy!"
She tells on herself a lot ("I threw 2 fits today") and takes things away from herself that haven't been taken away...She'll mutter to herself after she's thrown a fit..."and no *ritas*, and no go at *park* and no go at barn *kids*" (That's Rita's, the favorite ice cream place, the park, and Pottery Barn Kids)
Maybe she could take her act on the road??